Ella Mary Naylor
Our Ella Mary arrived at 19:37 (that's 7:37 pm) on the 19th of January, 2012. I was in labour for 2 hours after they broke my waters and started Pitocin, then after 15 minutes of pushing, she was here!
It's been an interesting/hard/wonderful/amazing/scary 2 1/2 weeks. In the interest of brevity AND clarity, I'll just write some words here in a stream of consciousness fashion: blue eyes, milk, baby, infections, pain, smiles, kisses, cuddles, Josh, eat, food, boobs.
I've already done a lot more of the breastfeeding than I thought I would. I was nearly derailed by quite a bad uterine infection when we got home. Yet another thing no one tells you about AFTER the labour and delivery horror stories. (That's a whole 'nother post.) I'm having a hard time just doing it. Ella is great at it, but I'm kind of rubbish, and the threat of postnatal depression is looming over me.
Then, I got an email. A badly spelled and punctuated one, but I guess we have time to work on that.
first off - i love you so much. By the way i have asked daddy to type while i dictate as i don't like his stupid bluetooth mac keyboard, it keeps falling of my tiny legs. And don't get me started on the magic mouse - no buttons?!
Any way, back to the important stuff. I never got round to thanking you for carrying me in your womb (daddy told me it wasn't your tummy). I know you got really sick for the first bit, as i kept feeling you hurl, and i also know you couldn't eat much, because i had to take energy that was already in your body!
And then 32 weeks. Oh, 32 weeks. I thought the world sounded so good and exciting, and your voice sounded so beautiful, that i was just desperate to come out and meet you - to see if your face was as lovely as your voice! But then i felt surrounded by angels and felt like lots of people were praying for me. I suddenly knew it was not the right time. I couldn't have done it without you though! I literally owe my pretty little life to you. i would not be here if it wasn't for you, and i am eternally grateful.
When i did come out, i wanted to get out so fast, for the reasons i already said, and i didn't want it to be too difficult for you either. When you grabbed me my heart missed a beat. I started yelling look at you! look at you! i couldn't have imagined how much more prettier you would be than your voice - i still love your voice though. You and daddy had tears in your eyes, and i suddenly felt really hungry. You put my face into the milk and i just drank and drank - it tasted so good - much better than the dirty amniotic fluid (daddy had to teach me that word as well - i thought it was just called the world).
I know i cry loads and loads - sometimes it drives me crazy too, but i just can't stop my self. I am so sorry, and i don't mean to make you upset. Sometimes when you hold me i feel hungry even if i have just eaten! I know! How could that be possible. But somehow it is.
Please be patient with me. I do like you. You do a lot more for me than anyone else, and i owe a debt of gratitude to you that i will repay in a lifetime of cuddles.
I love you so much mommy.
p.s. i got daddy to set up my email address, as i wanted one liek his