Never say Never...

I saw a little boy in a shop throw a donut on the floor, then ground it into the carpet with his feet while his mother was browsing.

My first reaction was: "I would have eaten that donut! What a waste!"

Yeah, I feel like this.

My second reaction was: "I will NEVER let my child do that in a public place. Why isn't she paying attention?"

My third reaction was: "UGH, did I just do that?"

I don't know this woman's life. Maybe she needs the four minutes of sanity that not paying attention while shopping affords her. Maybe she just needs junior to be occupied by a donut and doesn't mind if, for once, someone else cleans it up. Maybe she's a single mom. Maybe she's buying a dress for a family member's funeral. I have no child yet. Who am I to judge?

A hilarious blog that I read regularly is called Rants from Mommyland, and they have several posts called "When I'm a Parent, I'll Never..." Here is one of them. Basically, they sort through the laundry list of things you say you'll never do, and show that all human mothers and fathers break them at some point or other.

I've decided that instead of having an "I Will Never" List that will inevitably get broken, I'm going to have an "I Will" List to try to make life easier. Note that I had a boy list started that was very different. Maybe I'll post that at some point for laughs.

My "I Will" List:

1. I Will let her play with as many fairy/princess/fairy princess things that she wants, but when she's old enough to understand, I'll teach her that those are for imagination, and not really occupation.
Unless she wants to play historical princess dress-up, which is totally educational.
I will be Maria Theresa to her Marie Antoinette.

2. I Will try to downplay my own body image issues and remind her that she is always beautiful to me.

3. I Will, at some point, buy her a ridiculously priced collectable/toy. (Mom, you know that Bob Mackie Empress Bride Barbie that was $230 in the 1992 JC Penney catalog is now worth about six times that). Then, I will take it out of the box and let her play with it, ridding it of all resale value.

You can have her for a mere $1800 now.
I really want to unbraid her hair and put her crown and veil on the cat.

4. I Will make sure she has chemistry sets, fireman hats, cars, baby dolls and kitchen toys, because to let her think that any of those are "just boy" or "just girl" playthings is patently false.

5. I Will let her wear makeup at some point before she probably should (which is never), and I will make sure that someone shows her how to not look like the Painted Woman from the circus.

6. I Will send her to work with her father to see the cool things that he does every day and the women that also work in his field.

7. I Will encourage her to work hard in math and science, but if she really wants to pursue acting or become a writer, that's okay too.

8. I Will make sure that she has a job starting young that is a service role, because some of the most valuable lessons I have learned, I learned waiting tables, doing retail during Christmas, and changing someone else's diapers.

9. I Will let her make her own decisions regarding her future, even if it takes her far, far away from me, and I will do it without making ultimatums or giving her a massive guilt trip. (I learned this one from my mother very well, who has never once complained that I live in another country.)

10. I Will let her learn things, even if it takes an excruciating amount of time. Even if it's easier for me to just do it myself sometimes, she will not leave home without the ability to do her own laundry, cook her own food, sew on a button, make a budget and change a flat tire.


  1. Are you telling me that there is no chance I'll ever be a princess? LALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOUUUUU :)


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